I keep feeling how hard it is to stand up for myself like you have. It is easy to feel guilty for not doing enough for others and to feel that I don't deserve to receive.

You have done the work to gain clarity and set an example for others. As you wrote, doing the spiritual work is of great value not only for oneself but for others too and ought to be rewarded. Unfortunately, in modern society the value of people like you is not often recognized. So the struggles for financial survival can take their toll and when that happens you contribute less and we all lose. Thanks so much for bring these difficult truths to light and helping me and many others face our struggles more courageously and honestly.